I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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