Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
