I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize