dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
