what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
