Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
