I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there was a trapeze. enough said
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
