We're like a lot better than the average bears
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
