porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
