I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I deserve this hangover.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
