god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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