I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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