Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
