My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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