Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
