better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
