I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
