I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
