stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
