you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
