Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
