4 words: hood of his car
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
