I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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