How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
