He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
