He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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