Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
