Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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