I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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