I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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