hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize