that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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