Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
