my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
