Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
