So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
