I'm drive I can fine osifer
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
