He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I deserve this hangover.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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