As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
