in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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