she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
