all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize