I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
