We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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