Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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