eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize