i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
