If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
