So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
