check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
