I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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