if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hotel room ftw
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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