UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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