Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
