Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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