Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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