i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
