it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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