was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
