Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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