Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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