Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
