Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
