i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
