hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
