I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
