I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you had me at cake vodka
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
